100 Ways To Kill A Doctor: SuperSonic
by Spooladio
Summary: AU. Loves that stands the test of time. Writing prompt. Second shot at fanfiction without beta. Let me know if you figure how the title relates to the story. Hint: Bacon. Loosely based on Alternate pilot and Season 6 Howard's return from space.


_2015_

Dramadrk and Reesecp are the most powerful immortals in the known universe. They have been bonded to their mates for eons spending most of their time on the planet earth on an uncharted pacific island.

Both men are sitting on the beach looking at the horizon and discussing their offspring. Dramadrk's identical twin sons Sheldon and Sheldor are in love with Reesecp identical twin daughters Penny and Penelope. All are in their twenties and for immortals that's equivalent to a toddler.

The fathers decided that the respective couples shall gain relationship experience and insight before bonding by:

1\. Sending them to 7 B.C.

2\. They will inhabit the bodies of humans of the same age with all their memories intact.

3\. They must find their mate, make love and achieve orgasm in order to move forward in time by 50-year increments.

4\. They will go backwards in time 50-years if anyone chooses the wrong mate.

5\. Mating with others outside of their group will forfeit the life of that human.

6\. The couples will transport within the same environment with 6 months to find their true mate.

Both immortals summoned their mates who appeared immediately before them. The ladies looked anxious, it was rare that they were summoned in this manner. Dramadrk's pregnant wife Tre was eating chocolate covered brussel sprouts. Reesecp's wife Bar was sitting on the toilet after mistakenly drinking the herbal tea "Smooth Move." Dramadrk, Tre, and Reesecp broke out into uncontrollable laughter. After ten minutes of Bar's obscenities and using nature's toilet she calmed enough to listen to the plan, hearing _snickering_.

Telling the offspring the plan at dinner was easy. They romanticized the plan as a validation of their love. Sheldon, a science buff, was looking forward to experiencing the human evolution of science. Sheldor and Penelope were ambivalent. Penny was dreading the lack of footwear.

 _2012_

Sheldon was sitting on a couch in a small room with a TV playing porn. Holding his penis in one hand and a cup in the other it clicked, "SPERM BANK." He was no longer in 1962 inventing the first personal computer. He jumped up tucking himself in and exiting room to find Leonard.

Penny was unpacking moving boxes thinking about Sheldon and Marilyn Monroe's suicide.

Sheldor is disembarking from a plane. He is Howard Wolowitz an astronaut returning home to his bride…cool. "What a nice change from the Cuban Missile crisis drama. Uh ohhh, my bride is probably not Penelope. I am going to have to make up some STD, ( _Space Transmitted Disease)_ , poor wifey." As people stared, Sheldor/Howard thinks it's his notoriety as an astronaut. No one is approaching so he checks his person. His eyes widen as he screams silently, "What the hell am I wearing and why is it so tight?"

Penelope is at the airport awaiting Howard. "Damn after seeing Dr. No starring Sean Connery I am horny as hell. Howard is probably looking for some loving from his new bride. Shit, shit, shitttt! Wait a minute I don't feel so good maybe I'm sick…saved by what I suspect is the flu. _Frowning_. I'm Bernadette a microbiologist how in the hell did I get the flu?"

After leaving the sperm bank the roommates ascended their apartment stairs. A new neighbor blond, perky, and young was moving in. Leonard sees her, develops an infatuation, and stakes his claim. He romanticizes about their children. Sheldon's heart skips a beat in recognition of his soulmate.

They introduce themselves to their neighbor Penny and invite her over for dinner and drinks. Penny studies Sheldon and recognizes her soulmate and nods yes. Leonard observes the electricity between the two. He makes Penny aware that Sheldon's girlfriend Amy will be attending dinner.

Later Penny is sitting in 4A next to a clingy Leonard. Amy and Leonard keep the wine flowing. As Penny stumbles Leonard offers to escort her home. Sheldon is drinking excessively watching Leonard and Penny.

Amy takes advantage of Sheldon's intoxicated state by groping and stimulating him orally. They enter his bedroom and make love until he passes out. Smiling Amy sprawls on top of Sheldon after having three orgasms. She thinks curiously, "Sheldon never ejaculated."

Leonard helps Penny undress and get in bed. He stares at her luscious body and loses control. Leonard proceeds to have sex with a barely conscious Penny. After five orgasms within 60 minutes Leonard cleans Penny and slinks home satisfied and exhausted.

At home Sheldor/Howard and Penelope/Bernadette went to bed pleading exhaustion and sicknes. Bernadette's fever spiked and she was delusional calling out to Sheldor. While nursing her back to health Sheldor/Howard told Penelope/Bernadette of his love and she confirmed her identity. This would be their final time jump. They would return to their natural forms and await Penny and Sheldon before going back to the island.

Sheldon woke up the following morning with Amy. He jumped out of bed and ran to the bathroom slamming the door loudly and started showering. Leonard ran out his room not realizing he was naked and stopped when he saw a naked Amy. She gave him an appraising look and the cliff notes version of last night's activities. Amy was turned on and impressed by his increasing form. Leonard caught her gaze and told her to grab her stuff and come to his room until Sheldon calmed.

Leonard slyly without Amy's knowledge grabbed a necktie to hang onto the doorknob.

Sheldon was bathing contemplating, "How does a germaphobe make love?" He saw no signs of Amy upon exiting the bathroom. He tidied his room and went looking for Leonard and stopped short, Leonard's necktie was hanging from doorknob. Deciding to check on Penny he prayed she wasn't with Leonard. He knocked, no answer. He picked her lock and entered securing her door.

He glanced around her bedroom and stopped observing five condoms in the trashcan.

Someone was calling her name, she opened her eyes. Placing a hand over her mouth she bolted the bathroom. Later she emerged slightly refreshed after taking a shower.

Startled by Sheldon standing in her bedroom he asked, "What happened in 1862?" Penny responds, "I married Prince Ludwig. What happened in 1762?"

Sheldon kisses her and says, "I constructed the Petit Trianon for my mistress Madame de Pompadour."

They embrace and move to the couch to discuss last night's events. Sheldon declared, "It appears we were drunk and our partners took advantage and had coitus."

Penny scrunched her nose, "Coitus?"

"The term is deeply imprinted in human Sheldon's brain."

They decided to recuperate for the day and get together after their planned homecoming dinner date with Howard and Bernadette.

Leonard and Amy had sex and snuck out to avoid Sheldon and Penny. Amy's fiancé Faisal greeted them as they entered her apartment. Because she kept postponing their wedding Faisal placed her under surveillance. Amy is now his concubine per their contract since she is no longer a virgin. He signaled his guards to take her away. Leonard cowers ignoring her screams for help. Amy is transported to a cargo plane and is caged with her monkeys. She is accidentally killed by her monkeys due to nicotine withdrawal. The guards forgot to pack the cigarettes.

Faisal looks towards Leonard, "How dare you defile my fiancé. He signals to another guard. Leonard faints. He awakens in Amy's bed feeling woozy. He turns his head away from the wall and sees an object lying on the adjacent pillow. Everything is fuzzy without his glasses on. As he focuses he realizes the object is a penis. He grabs his crotch and his screams rises in pitch until he suffers a fatal asthma attack.

Saturday found Howard and Bernadette arriving at the restaurant early. The Wolowitzes discussed the coincidence of their friend's names. Bernadette gave Penny a hug as they arrived and asked, "Penny what is your sister's name."

Penny answered, "Penelope."

Sheldor/Howard asked, "Sheldon what your his father's name?"

Sheldon replied, "Dramadrk."

They immediately recognized each other as siblings and gave updates of their lives so far in 2012. They enthusiastically discussed returning home to the island and seeing their parents. Departing they shared hugs and kisses.

Sheldor/Howard and Bernadette/Penelope found the Wolowitzes adult toy chest and made love all night long.

Sheldon and Penny decided for some strange compelling reason to grab some champagne and head down to the laundry room. Penny's orgasms coincided with the spin cycle of the washing machine, every 60 minutes. They sensed that the human Sheldon and Penny approved.

The couples woke up on the island eager to start their future not having once gone backward in time.


End file.
